


And I Wonder if I Ever Crossed Your Mind

by WolfSquish



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, past Sirius Black/Evan Rosier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfSquish/pseuds/WolfSquish
Summary: Sirius is happy with Evan and the life they built. Truly. Evan isn't.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15
Collections: Wickedly Wolfstar: Love at First Text





	And I Wonder if I Ever Crossed Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Wickedly_Wolfstar_Love_at_First_Text](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Wickedly_Wolfstar_Love_at_First_Text) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> We're old friends who haven't spoken in years, but I've texted your old number in hopes to get back in contact because I could really use a friend right now... (Prompt by NeonDomino)

The rain dropped onto Sirius’ phone at a frankly annoying rate. He wiped the screen and ducked under a bridge. 

The rain didn’t stop; new drops appeared on the screen all the same, though not as quickly. 

It didn’t matter though. Nothing had changed. 

Everything was gone. His boss, coworkers, brother, friends, apps, all of it. Evan had reset his phone to factory settings, as the perfect cherry on top. 

He’d forgotten it on the way to work, and when he came home, it was to find his possessions on the pavement, spelling out ‘loser’, his phone mockingly under a bit of plastic to keep it dry. His key didn’t fit the shiny new locks on the door, and Evan just grinned at him from the other side of the window in the door when he pounded on the door. 

“Come on! This isn’t funny! Let me in!” 

Evan’s grin simply grew wider and he held up a finger, signalling Sirius to wait. What else could he do? Sirius was soaked through by the time Evan returned.

With a beer. To drink as he watched Sirius, who was starting to realise this wasn’t a joke, the kind of joke Evan made a lot that he hated but never could pinpoint why it was different from putting baby powder in his hairdryer, or plastic wrap on a door opening. 

“Evan. Let me in.” His voice had barely been audible above the rain pitter pattering all around him. Evan lifted the beer in a mock toast and drank slowly. 

Sirius could only stare at him. They’d lived together for almost 10 years, had been together for 12. And this was it? Like that? Not even a ‘fyi we’re done’ but coming home to find out he no longer had a home?

He didn’t know how long it took, but eventually Evan seemed to get bored. He yawned theatrically before stretching and disappearing into the house. The lights went out and now Sirius was staring at his own reflection; scared and broken.

“Fuck you.” He whispered, though even he didn’t know if he was talking to Evan or himself. So he started walking until he ended up under that bridge, where he realised he was crying. 

His fingers shook and his phone glitched underneath them as he put in the only number he knew off the top of his head; Remus’. They hadn’t talked in at least 8 years, and he doubted Remus still had the same number, but it was the only one he remembered. He’d used to fill it in with whatever surveys he could find, the expression on Remus’ face when he received yet another call to promote this or that product or service that he’d never heard of, never wanted, never would want, and that he still felt too guilty to yell at the people calling him for, had been the highlight of Sirius’ days, especially when said calls happened in the middle of class.

“I could use a friend right now.” 

It was so inadequate, fell so short of whatever he should have said, but Remus probably didn’t even have the number anymore. It’d been 8 years. 

Sirius looked around him, trying to find a dry spot to sit and cry in and feel sorry for himself for a while before figuring out an actual plan.

He almost bumped his head into the bottom of the bridge when his phone buzzed in his hand. 

“I can be your friend. Tell me your name?” 

Funny, how that simple reply from an old friend, or possible stranger, who didn’t know who he was, was the thing that broke Sirius. He hunched down and dropped his head between his knees as gasping sobs wracked through his body. It wasn’t the anger or the pain or betrayal that got to him. No, it was the relief and kindness shown, the stark contrast between one and the other. 

“It’s Sirius. Remember me, Remus?” 

Again, so inadequate, but all he could manage after almost 15 minutes of trying to ride the wave of emotions that wanted out now that the dam on them had broken. 

The reply this time took longer, and while a part of Sirius was so very glad that he’d at least not been told to fuck off immediately. Every other part of him was hurt and cold, so very, very cold. His teeth chattered by the time his phone buzzed again, and for a moment he feared the touch screen wouldn’t respond to his fingers, and the slightly bluish tinge they had taken on while he stood there. 

“Just finished my shift. Where are you, we’ll grab a pint.”

The wait after Sirius texted back seemed to last an eternity. He hopped up and down a few times in an attempt to get warm, but now that he knew help was on the way, it seemed all his energy had been washed away by the rain. 

“You look like a drowned rat.” Not a text this time, but a voice painfully familiar, yet changed in the years they’d not seen one another. 

“I can pull it off, at least.” Sirius shot back with an attempt at his usual cocky grin, though any effect that might have had was lost when he sneezed a moment later. 

“Come on, pub’s only a little walk.” Remus motioned down the street with his umbrella, which Sirius ducked under gratefully. 

The walk to the pub was silent, apart from Sirius’ chattering teeth. He caught Remus glancing at him every couple steps, and tried not to think about what it meant that there was a line between Remus’ eyebrows that didn’t fully smooth over even when he stopped frowning. 

Stepping into the pub was like stepping into the sun, the warmth and smells wrapped around Sirius comfortingly as he followed Remus to what soon turned out to be a usual spot. 

“Really, how long were you outside?” Remus said as he slid a laminated menu over to Sirius. “Grab something to eat as well, that’ll warm you up.”

Sirius shook his head. “Dunno.” He ignored the menu; the last thing he wanted just then was to eat. He should say more, should fill the silence so Remus wouldn’t know just how bad things were, but for once he didn’t have anything at all to say. 

Remus nodded, letting Sirius be with his thoughts as he got to his feet and headed for the bar. He returned with two large pints of wine, a towel, and the words “There’s some garlic bread on the way.” 

There was no small measure of relief in Sirius as he pulled a pint towards himself and drank deeply. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it.”

Silence reigned between them as Sirius rubbed at his hair to dry it, resigning himself to wet clothes for the foreseeable future, and Remus drank from his pint, deep in his thoughts. 

“You said you just finished a shift?” Sirius said eventually, when he’d fought the bubbling need to tell Remus what had happened for so long he might actually do so, which wasn’t something he wanted to do in a pub. And possibly not at all. 

“Yeah, I’m a veterinary nurse. I was locking up when you texted.” Remus said while he blinked slowly a few times as if clearing his head. 

Sirius nodded and slurped down more of his beer just as a basket of vaguely toasted slices of bread and a small tub of what could at a stretch be called butter were plopped down on the table between them. 

Remus grinned, grabbed a slice, and slathered the butter on it. “You should eat. Perfect for at the end of a long day.” 

Sirius nodded and copied Remus, though he stopped short of actually eating. He really needed to find something to chat about soon or Remus was sure to notice that he wasn’t talking the way he usually would have, even if it had been years. 

“How’s Evan?” Remus asked between bites, no doubt aiming for casual conversation. 

Sirius choked on the mouthful of beer he was in the process of swallowing and Remus’ eyes bugged out a little as he tugged a napkin out from under the bread before he offered it to Sirius. 

In a way, Sirius was glad for the excuse for the tears gathering in his eyes. He wiped his mouth and eyes after coughing a few times. 

“Warm and dry, he made sure I knew that.” Sirius managed, though keeping the bitterness out of his voice was so lost a battle he never even started it. 

Remus blinked slowly at that and chewed on a piece of bread as he looked at Sirius. “That sounds…” He trailed off before he washed down the buttered bread with his beer. “I have a sofa bed if you need somewhere to kip?” 

Sirius needed to wipe his eyes again. Leftover tears from the choking business. Nothing else. “Thanks.” His voice sounded like it was made of sandpaper as he managed something resembling a smile. 

Remus gave a firm nod as he pulled out his phone. “Fancy a Chinese? About time to head home anyway.” 

Sirius could only stare and nod slowly before gulping down most of his remaining beer in one go. His hair had mostly dried in the meantime. “Uh. Loo?”

Remus barely looked up from his phone as he pointed to a corner of the pub. Drowned rat turned out to be a very popular comment aimed at Sirius that evening. Once he saw himself in the mirror, he couldn’t argue it either. Though his hair had dried, it hung in strings around his face. His clothes had only barely stopped dripping, and his expression was that of someone who’d had their puppy shot on Christmas and their birthday cancelled all in the same moment. 

By the time he’d used the loo, washed his hands, splashed some warm water into his face, and returned to the table, Remus had ordered food to his place, and an Uber to the pub. 

“We should have about ten minutes till our ride’s here.” Remus said as Sirius started to rip apart the crust of the last slice of bread. 

The silence between them stood out even more in the quiet car, punctuated by their driver trying to start conversations. Sirius mostly grunted and hmmed in reply. He thought he might vomit if he opened his mouth. 

Between blinks, he was being ushered into a bathroom he could only assume was Remus’. He didn’t remember getting out of the car, or into a building, but apparently he’d agreed that a shower would be nice. 

“I’ll put down some pyjamas and socks and such outside the door while you’re in there.” 

Just like that, Sirius was alone again. Taking off his half dried clothes seemed almost impossible, they clung to him on all sides and to themselves and each other, but eventually there was a pile of weird smelling, wet clothes in the corner and Sirius could step into the gloriously hot shower. 

As soon as the first drops hit him, so too did the whole evening, the realisation that his entire adult life had been dumped out like it was trash. He had to reach out a hand to lean against the wall and bite down on his other hand to keep the sobs from echoing off the walls. 

Remus didn’t say anything about noises he might not have even heard as Sirius shuffled into the living room, where Remus was in the process of unpacking the delivery that Sirius hadn’t heard arrive. 

“If I remembered right, you eat about anything so long as there’s a lot of it, so I just got three of all my faves.” Remus said without turning to face Sirius, who was struggling to make his legs work. The sheer contrast of Remus doing all this for a friend, when Evan had so often not even bothered to put leftovers away for him almost knocked him off his feet. 

“Not very hungry.” Well, if Remus hadn’t heard him crying, the scratchiness of his voice had just given him away. 

“I know. Eat anyway.”

Sirius ate until they were both yawning, and Remus pulled the sofa out into a bed, and piled blankets on it for Sirius to stay warm. 

And for what felt like the first time in years, Sirius was. 


End file.
